Love > Fear

"I believe that every single event in life happens in an opportunity to choose love over fear."

-- Oprah Winfrey

One of my goals for this year is to choose 'Love over Fear' and it has been the best medicine I have ever taken. As a woman who lives with anxiety and the stigma of not really being able to explain why I am catching my breath, sighing deeply, wringing my hands, shaking my leg, or pacing around my house with nervous energy; choosing love over fear has been a powerful tool I have included in my arsenal of daily self-care practices. This affirmation has improved my quality of life tremendously and it has had a positive impact on those I am around most.

I think I learned the strategy from best-selling author & motivational speaker, Gabrielle Bernstein, years ago, but I never actually put it into practice until recently. I am naturally a fiery person who lives in Dirty Jersey where being kind pretty much gets you nowhere (we are a hardened people - lol) and I have a tendency to pop-off pretty quickly. This way of living isn't what I wanted for myself anymore, and, honestly, it causes me even more anxiety, because I overthink my reactions to things. I was determined to be more peaceful this year, or to at least try my best each day. (I am a student of self-improvement, so last year, 'Be Kind' was my goal. Somedays I was kind, other days I was flipping everyone off - so I guess it's the intention behind it, right?)

Love over Fear

Fear is one of the eight primary emotions. A powerful natural primitive emotion that triggers a biochemical response in our bodies as it alerts us to the presence of danger, whether it is physical or psychological, so fear is not a bad thing. The question becomes - are you experiencing fear or are you experiencing anxiety? Most likely it is anxiety, but we often describe it as fear. It is important to differentiate the two and to recognize your body's physical response.

So how do we incorporate Love over "Fear" (really anxiety) into our lives? When the anxiety creeps in with a fear of flying or getting into a car accident, a fear of losing your job or your house, a fear of dying or illness, a fear of success or failure, whatever your "fear" is, here are a few ways to turn it around and move it out of your headspace:

Practice Gratitude - What part of your anxiety can you be grateful for? For example, if it's a fear of flying, be grateful you are able to travel for vacation or that you have your career when you travel for business.

Show Kindness - Be kind to yourself and others. Little acts of kindness don't just make others feel good, but the act of doing something for someone else makes us feel better. Make that phone call, buy a random cup of coffee for a stranger, send a handwritten card to a loved one, or compliment a co-worker. It's not a hard thing to do and the impact is truly under-rated. Being kind to yourself is simply saying nice things to yourself each day. I am strong. I am courageous. I am smart. I am capable.

Acts of Love - Hug, kiss, hold hands, touch feet, have sex, all of these acts cause the release of oxytocin, 'The Love Hormone,' and they make our minds and bodies feel really good.

Have a Plan - Be patient with yourself while fulfilling obligations. If it's social anxiety, give yourself a timeframe for the event, stay an hour, be home by 9, whatever works for you. If it's related to travel, bring items that comfort you, treat yourself to a yummy juice or an amazing hot chocolate at the airport, or carry some soothing crystals or stones in your pocket to distract you. Worry Stones are my new favorite item.

Connect with your Heart Chakra - A chakra is an energy center of the body. There are 7 major energy centers and the Heart Chakra is located in the center of your chest. The Heart Chakra is the 4th energy center and it connects the lower chakras (physical centers) with the upper chakras (spiritual centers) of our physical being. Simply put your hands on your Heart Chakra and breath in for a count of 4, hold your breath for a count of 4, and breathe out for a count of 4. Do this 4 times. Also, doing certain yoga poses, like Half Camel, Warrior 1, Upward Facing Dog, & Bow Pose, (check them out here). Show your heart-space some love.

Know Yourself - What will work best for you? Show yourself some love. Take a shower or bath, call a friend and talk out the 'fear'. What are the worst-case scenarios and how do you feel about them?

Connect with Nature- Go outside and take a walk, sit on your front steps or back deck. Go for a hike and pick up some trash items you see on the ground and toss them in the garbage to clean up the Earth, Mother Nature needs love, too.

"When you choose to perceive love over fear,

life begins to flow."

~Gabby Bernstein

Whether you live with anxiety or you just want to be more mindful of your energy in this world, utilizing any of these tips will help you live a life with Love. No matter where you live, who you work with, how your children are behaving in the supermarket, or which side of the bed you wake up on, you have a choice in all you do, so why not choose Love. Some days may be harder than others, (especially in Jersey, during rush hour, on the Turnpike - just sayin') but take it one day at a time. Spiritual Spunk's February Box is The Love Box, you can check it out here.

Sending you Peace, LOVE, & Happiness!

~Spiritual Spunk