Life: Interrupted

In the midst of this pandemic, I am blissfully at peace with many things in my life. I am not ignorant to the stress, anxiety, and life threatening situation outside my window. I am watching dear friends become disconnected from the norm that once was. I am witnessing the fear of those stricken by this illness about what the next few days will bring to them. I hear about the ugly reality of this virus from my first responder friends, who are absolutely exhausted and their lives forever altered by what their eyes have seen. I am not ignorant to the conspiracy theorists and honor their beliefs, but have compassion for those who see what this has brought to their lives, or for that matter, taken from them.

For once in my life, my husband and I are not the underdogs. We are not clawing at the other crabs in the bucket of life currently. We have stable careers with pay still coming in. We are still healthy. We are safe. But not for one second are we not reflective of what this interruption has brought into our lives.

For one, we have tremendous gratitude. A gratitude that has never before been shared between us, unfortunately. We are not struggling to put food on the table or pay our bills, which is not an every day, weekly, or monthly occurrence for us at different times of the year. We have stability when others are living in chaos. We are not strangers to chaos, hell, we are the ones who have always lacked stability and embraced our chaos.

We have reconnected with one another in a way I never thought was possible 20 years into our relationship. We have established new goals for ourselves after recognizing where we really came from. We have stopped chasing other peoples' dreams by recognizing how much we truly have. Not only in our relationship, but in our home, with our children, and the deep strength of the most unexpected friendships.

We have been interrupted in the most beautiful way we could have ever been. This is not just the great pause, but it is about embracing the reset. We are ready to start over and learn the lessons that may have never been taught otherwise. It is a tremendous shame that my/our fortune comes at a time of other peoples' loss, and I feel guilty about that. But I also feel like now is the time to step into who we were never going to be until something so drastic divinely intervened. For that, I am grateful and feel blessed to witness the transformation of others who have learned a great deal from this interruption.

The Earth has called out to us to JUST. STOP. destroying our planet. Compassion and humanity are on the rise, and living in the fastest pace in the U.S. has me slowed way the eff down. Which has opened my eyes to enjoying the slow down. I have been more present each day in all that I do and how I spend each minute. I am waking up to what I really need and what I really want out of my short time on this Earth. The planning has started with how to continue with this lifestyle once this all blows over. How to truly live my best life, unapologetically. How to kindly decline an invite to a gathering when I would prefer to be home playing Monopoly. How to resist the temptation to fill up the weekends when I have to return to work. How to politely respect my relationships, but not be consumed by the ones I feel obligated to. How to continue this intimate connection with my family while honoring their need for personal space.

It is all so much to take in, but I can honestly say that this interruption has altered who I was; who I am; and who I aspire to be. I'd love to hear how you have been internally impacted by life being interrupted. The good, the bad, and the bold. Please share.